Another busy day. Got pissed for awhile in the afternoon...oh well...usual stuff concerning other people. Daniel...HELP! Where are the normal people?

Learnt how to put the nasogastric tubing into a horse today. Dr. Christy was really patient with me and that really helped a lot compared to Dr. Guy yesterday. I am really considering taking up an animal handler job after i graduated. Daniel and I were at the Night Safari the other night and we were just talking about how nice it would be if we could personally handle and train a barn owI, a python or even big cats. Set me thinking about how nice it would be if we could work together and enjoy meaningful and enriching for once. I mentioned it to someone today and i got snubbed.

"Do you know how much zookeepers are paid?"

Oh, to hell with how much pay i'm gonna draw next time. I really don't give a flying fuck, seriously. It really makes me wonder why people are in this course with me. I may be incompetent and ignorant compared to my fellow classmates, but i haven't stooped that low yet. Oh well as usual, people will call me an idealist but i don't think so. I still believe in dreams...i still believe i can survive without turning into the pragmatic and mercenary person i see in many people. Daniel says i haven't faced the harsh reality of the society and when i finally do, i will understand.

I'm just afraid that one day when i wake up, i will just be like anyone else on the street...slogging my ass off and being a slave of money. Months ago, i accused Daniel of betraying his integrity and becoming just like everyone else i know. I guess i was really wrong to say that because without all that hard cash we will never ever be able to get married as we planned to. I know he had our interest at heart and like Esther says, Daniel will always want to provide the best for me. I guess i was really a bitch for being so harsh to him. I know someone who will be a vet drawing at least a 3K salary, wanting to aim as high as 10K per month and laughing at me when i said 2.8-3K is enough for me......That one is the REAL mercenary scum bag low-down no integrity no principles...watever. Not Daniel.

Being around with people who differ from me makes me sick. I miss Daniel. I miss having just a normal conversation without getting all pissed and exasperated (yes yes dan i get pissed with you but it's different hehe). It's just different talking to him...about how cool that snowy owl from Harry Potter is...how cool a python feels on our neck...how awestruck we were seeing the eagles swooping over our heads at the birdpark...how sick i feel eating tuna and emu meat...how wrong fishing is. If anyone thinks he has lesser in common with me compared with my other vet friends here, you're all wrong. I guess it's really hard for me being alone in aussie...in a vet school with people who are SUPPOSED to be sharing a common dream with me, yet finding that everyone else is so different from me. I don't even claim to be nobel, i'm just an animal-lover. Sometimes i wonder if Daniel will even make a better and more compassionate vet than all my fellow counterparts......at least he tries to understand my stand and not once snubbed at whatever beliefs i have. He looks out when stray cats are within our sight just to make sure no one bullies or kicks them. We tell people off if we see them mistreating stray animals. I wonder how many of these animal lovers do that....i guess none...all too afraid of offending someone and turning a blind eye and condoning actions like these simply because it is not their business or just too scared of unecessary trouble.

Watever. I am having a diarrhoea but my heart feels so constipated now.