I finally feel like blogging again although i doubt anyone will read my crap. Esther asked me why no one comments in my blog and she's thinking of cooking up different names and personalities to do so. Esther, i am broken but not desperate heh. It doesn't matter if anyone comments or read what i say, i just like to put down my thoughts in words lest anyone is interested in getting an update on my life.

I am just here if anyone cares.

The last few days really sucked. Apart from the pangs of hysteria which struck me (which made me human for awhile..), i have been floating around aimlessly like a ghost. I'm glad today i woke up feeling sane again...i seem to have forgotten what happened...or maybe, i just don't want to remember. I try to feel grounded although i can still vaguely feel the subtle promptings from the pain which have bothered me for the past few days....i better clean up this mess soon.

Esther was kind enough to keep me company on Thursday night even though she has school on Friday morning. Sometimes she rambles a lot but she definitely cheers me up a lot when i'm down. Esther do that funny face for me again! Give me ricola and chant that silly chinese "nursery rhyme" hahaaa...."ni yi ge, wo yi ge, da jia dou kuai le!"......i wonder if i will ever find a friend like her in anyone else....

I wanted Esther to pose for my digicam (she was showing me some crane kungfu moves she did to her students and a whole series of freakingly funny faces), but she didn't want to although i begged the hell outta her. I ended up snapping my own picture in her mirror. Btw, I'm supposed to let her colour my hair today but i think i'm chickening out...i won't sms her back.

Yesterday, i went out with my other friends from Murdoch....i really had nothing better to do and staying at home will probably kill me. We hanged out at Sakae Sushi at Heeren. I had chicken ramen and some sushi. The green tea there tastes seaweedy...but Yuet Foong told me it was good stuff. Pauline had a sprained wrist or something along that line...i think the farm practicals will leave us all crippled one day. Tabita was there but she looked bored and left after awhile to get a present for her friend. Andrew was there...nothing much to say....don't even know what kind of person he is. He talks to Pauline like there is nothing wrong at all although i know fully what's been going on between them. I hate all this hypocrisy. I hate diplomacy. I hate people making use of each other. I hate people being obligated to me. Please come up and tell me to fuck off if you feel the need. No one needs to be obligated to me.

I snapped a picture of Pauline and Tabita just to make a note on the day.



After sushi, everyone went on their separate ways. I went shopping. Bought 2 skirts (at 19 bucks each) and a $9 top from Future State. I nearly thought they became some pasar malam store. Bought shoes from URS (after Lucky bit 2 pairs of my heels, i have no more left). Bought 3 tops for dan. Bought another Potter novel and "The Little Prince" by Antoine de St.-Exupery. Shopping makes me feel better, but i'm careful that i only get sale items when i am in a mood swing like this.

I must say that the toilets at centrepoint is glam. Nicely done walls and taps and soap dispensors which operate solely through sensors. Was a little irritating though, because i didn't know where to place my hands to activate the sensor...