Little cozzie was my first real patient in a way. When i first got him, he looked slightly thin but i still considered him a real fighter because of the way he fought when he saw bluey in the adjacent tank. After a few days, i noticed he became a l'il lethargic and kept backing away when bluey flared at him. I was pretty concerned with that and decided to use my round snail tank as a makeshift "hospital tank". Shifted cozzie there immediately and took some time to observe him. He kept swimming around as my pen torch followed his fins to and fro. After much reading i kinda concluded that he had all the symptoms of fin rot and decided to administer the malachite green/acriflavine as his treatment. I very carefully marked my calendar so that i would remember when his next dose was. After 4 doses which was about 2 weeks, i decided to move cozzie back to his room from his hospital ward.

- in the hospital tank -

I was quite apprehensive at first but when i saw cozzie flaring more fiercely than he had ever before, i was quite sure he had recovered. He was getting fitter by the day and very much energetic. This was the first time i had seen so much life in cozzie after i've brought him back home. I felt really glad and relieved knowing that i had somehow used my healing hands on a life. It might be hard to believe but it is in a way, a consolation...or maybe an affirmative reply to myself...that i do have a heart that cares enough, and hopefully in days to come...hands that can do greater things.

Today, i walked out of the library and she looked at me in a strange way and told me not to be sad. We were on our way to pick cozzie and bluey up because i had left them at their place before i went home for the break. Somehow i knew and i asked her if something had happened to either cozzie or bluey. I got my answer - cozzie had passed away and they were too afraid to tell me lest i was upset and i couldn't concentrate on my test. She told me that fishes die easily and it doesn't really matter. They wanted to get a new fish for me but she doesn't even remember what colour cozzie is. How could they? How could anyone? She told me her dad used to cry over the death of his fishes and from her tone, i knew it would be absurd if i were to burst out in tears, so i didn't....and i pretended i was okay.

I asked them if they buried cozzie and they sheepishly said cozzie was deep in the soil downstairs. It is like a ritual for me...to wrap my dead animals in tissue together with some food....and bury it beneath flowers or a cross made out of twigs or chopsticks. I'm sorry that i was not around to do it for you. Goodbye cozzie...although we only had a month or so together...it was the first time i've bonded so much with a mere fish and i know it'll be tough for me when i look at the empty tank...still green from the last dose of medication i gave you before i left for home.

- in his little blue room -