Nothing that exciting is happening, or rather there are so many things happening that i don't think i feel like updating my blog or saying anything....whatever.

Random thoughts (just let me rant then): i'm tired of being around unhappy people who need me around for some reason. For a listening ear, as a boxing bag....whatever. It's e-n-o-u-g-h. About being taken for granted or taking things for granted. There are people around me regretting the fact that when someone was around, they never treasured him/her enough. Good for them...at least they finally learnt that people should be treasured. Some people just continue on indifferently, even after the absence of a "loved" one....or maybe the one that has passed, has never been that loved anyway. I hate liars. Some people just take advantage of you again and again, so i've decided not to be so stupid again. I am gonna start making clear-cut decisions and banish whoever/whatever that has been taking advantage of me. Yes, i've decided to love myself a little more, since i never really did and no one ever really did to listen enough to me. I never ever listened to what i need and because of other people's actions or words, i just ignored my own needs. This is gonna stop as well. I'm looking forward to going home soon....and yups anyone who wants guinea pigs can tell me because i'm gonna give away oscar, kite, magnum (and 2 more i didn't name...or i did...think one was honey and the other sydney i dunno..). It's unfair to make someone else take up my responsibility when i'm away so no matter how reluctant i am, i think i'll just have to do that. I am having a big break now...though i'm still busy...how ambivalent. I wish someone can be my *listening ear/boxing bag (delete where applicable)...it's been a long while since anyone bothered. I'm tired of being an idiot and jester...can i hire one to entertain me? The sky is weird these days. Sunny, rainy, sunny, rainy. I hate it...it reminds me of someone. As soon as i let down my guards when it's sunny, the damn rain has to come down and drench me to my skin again. When i'm cold and apprehensive and all geared up in my wintery clothes, the sun can't wait to embrace me. I thought i was the most temperamental of the lot. I'm proud of myself for finally standing up for what i believe. I did, but i lost it along the way...and now i am going to. I may be the worst of the lot but i'm still not crap yet...so i still deserve some love and respect. I am worried about some things. I am still scared but i have myself to hold on to, and i'm not about to let myself go. I have to be responsible to people who love me...and i made it a point to tell a few people i do. Some people put on a front when they are vulnerable, too afraid to show people how much they need someone else. I had been vulnerable before and i have bared my soul, only to be ripped apart with blatant rejection. Can i borrow some superglue to piece the bits together? Yeah i need superglue for my buttons...somehow i popped my button and it doesn't look like it can be sewed back again. Some people are just too afraid to take the rap all by themselves and insist that some others are dragged into the shit with them. Why? I dunno. Does it kill to admit it is solely your mistake? Apparently. Love is getting warped these days. I've heard a lot and it's just different from what i always thought it to be. High time i got my head checked....everyone has changed their mentality I and i haven't. Yes..stubborn. Maybe. I have tried to change for the "better" but apparently no one reciprocated. Worthless? Maybe too. Piece of shit. Go to hell lah. If i knew the way i would? Heaven seems a bit too far for me.....i rather sink with gravity. Where are people when you need them? Never anywhere. When you least need anyone, everyone bugs you. I appreciate whoever anyway. I just found out someone i knew for awhile actually has the same birthday as me...how cool is that. How sad i never ever found out all the while...haha. I wonder how many people care if i disappear from the face of the earth...or maybe they only care because they have one blog less to read ha ha ha. Do people find joy in poking dead people? Why do some people insist on killing something that is already half dead? For humane reasons? haha....i rather think that it's more logical to try salvaging the situation first rather than killing it. Where is your sense of urgency? Mucking around something that is half-dead? Says a lot doesn't it? I hope you rethink and priortise what is more important. You don't necessary end up feeling rejuvenated after a break. Sometimes you end up more zapped and you just want to do less work. When will it be my turn to slack and just be a parasite? Is is that difficult to offer a humble apology?

Happy birthday to Esther...size 12 isn't that big really haha....