I spent the whole afternoon doing wall-fillings. My landlord will be popping by next week and it's just not a good idea letting him see what Chester has done to the house. Chester is getting increasingly anxious about my absence. I guess i sorta understand what he feels every morning before i head off to school. It must be devastating seeing your world just walk out of that door, leaving you lonely and lost. What's worse is he doesn't seem to get the idea that i will be home. Instead, he tries all sorts of ways to get to me. He's already pawed off half the wall that's adjacent to the door that he sees me off every morning. I feel sad for him, at the same time frustrated at his behaviour, yet i can't scream at him for fear of amplifying the problem. It's not funny having a dog that gets upset everytime you close the door on him. My every move affects him and even for me to get up from my chair to do a wee is a feat. He'll whine and paw at the door and when i finally come out of the toilet, his little tail will wag as though he hasn't seen me for hours. We've been practising the same routine these few days - opening and closing doors on him, timing how many seconds he takes to go berserk if he doesn't see me, desensitising him to the jingle of my keys and shuffling of books in my bag. I really hope he gets better with time. There's nothing i can do except to be patient. I guess a parallel to this is having an autistic kid. What else can you do but give your best and hope for the best? I'm just so afraid he'll never ever snap out of this. Worse comes to worse, i'll just have to put him on sedatives then.

I don't think anyone can really understand how it's like to be alone and afraid. Maybe that's why i made Chester my emotional support and caused him to become overly-attached to me. Get a grip? Chester needs to, and so do i. The difference is he has me to see him through.