Life hasn't been very good to me recently but i'll try to hang on for your sake. Maybe it's indeed true that caesarean babies are handicapped when it comes to handling stress. I never used to crack under pressure, now i think i'm dying.

I worry too much. I anticipate too much. I imagine the things that might happen 10 years down the road that mightn't even happen at all. I think i indulge too much in catastrophic thinking. I don't think i can live with anyone else other than my family or daniel. I feel immensely suffocated. I cry under the blankets not knowing what to do with myself. I can't eat. I sleep to escape. Everyday i live in denial.

What's wrong with me? Everything seems so uncertain at this point of time. I used to think that i'm independent and i don't need anyone to take care of me, but truth is, the people around me shelter and take care of me so much so that when i'm left to my own devices, i just crumble.

I'm an idiot for throwing a fit at daniel just because of my own stupid emotions. I get agitated when i talk to him because that is all i can do. TALK. TALK. Talk is not enough, i need to see him, need him to hold me and tell me everything's gonna be ok. The more i talk to him, the more it breaks me up into pieces somehow.

He sent me a bouquet of roses yesterday to cheer me up. To be honest, it really made my day and i brightened up for awhile. This must be the biggest bouquet i've received from him. I lost count after the 30th rose.

Oh well.