Being Honest

Mum left this afternoon. To be honest, i'm a little sad, but relieved as well. It's quite weird having ONLY your mum to speak to and interact with all the time (Foong hasn't come back to Aussie yet because of some visa problem, Pauline's busy at the horse barn and Bern's back in SG for good). Mum does a lot for me, usually out of angelic intentions but it's doesn't seem so to me sometimes. It's weird, i know i love her to bits, but i know i can't just live with her alone. I'm not afraid to say she drives me nuts sometimes heh. I try not to take her for granted though, but i know sometimes i do, which i'm bloody apologetic about. It's almost like a love-hate relationship between me and her hahah. I'll miss her cooking though. You can never imagine what she packs in my lunchbox to bring to school. My lunch last Friday includes: 3 bottles of water (1 plain water, 1 chrysanthemum tea, 1 soyabean), 1 big lunchbox of fried chicken strips and mushrooms (har jiong flavour), 1 big hamburger complete with homemade beef patty and 2 thick slices of blackforest cake. How to finish?!?! I know i'm a glutton, but then......

I had to meet my property agent and the landlord this afternoon. I was honest and owned up about the holes that Chester made on the wall. Surprisingly, the landlord seemed okay with everything. Only thing was that the lawn was half dead, but it wasn't really my fault because the bloody sprinklers can't even reach those dead areas to begin with. I hate my landlord because he's a big. fierce and grouchy man. As soon as i had the all clear, i ran out of the house and drove away like speedy gonzales (i was so frightened that i actually reversed into the fucking letterbox and killed it too). Pauline said i'm stupid because i was honest about the Chester thing. I know i am, but i just can't help it. I'm frightened to tell a lie, frightened to face the music too. I'm just basically a frightened creature scuttling around most of the time.

I think being honest is good. Ever since when i'm not sure, i started being unable to lie. It's like that "liar liar" show, i just CANNOT lie anymore for some reason. I feel very uneasy if i have to pretend or bluff someone. I just can't. I will blurt out the truth sooner or later.

This weekend's gonna be pretty full on cos i have to prepare for my seminar as well as my zoo medicine test next Friday. Now that mum's gone home, i suddenly feel like i dunno what to eat for dinner. Haha!