Lessons In Life

Lessons In Life

Lesson 1: It is okay to be angry.

Yes, it IS okay to be angry. We're not robots. We're all humans and anger is just one of the many emotions we experience. But what makes us different from animals is our ability to control our own anger. Alternatively, humans have the ability to find outlets to let out steam instead of tearing other humans apart like animals do. I'm not exactly the best person to talk about anger management, but i have definitely witnessed how destructive wrath can be, devouring kinship, friendship and relationships. Most of all, anger can turn into such a giant that it'll devour you as well.

Lesson 2: Shut up when you're angry.

Being angry is NOT a sin. Expressing your anger in a destructive way IS a sin. The most convenient way to express anger is with words. I've always stressed the point that simple words are most powerful and carry the most weight. "Fuck you" is a powerful phrase to use when you're furious. "Go and copulate with yourself" is NOT a powerful phrase. "Love" is a powerful word, just as "hate" is. I avoid using the word "hate" when i'm angry. In fact now, i try to avoid any confrontation when i'm angry. It's best to shut up when you're angry, and talk when you've cooled down. I've mellowed alot with age and i'm not the angsty person i was years ago. I still get pissed off from time to time but i've learnt to give myself and others "time out" whenever that happens. When i'm feeling livid, i usually cover myself with my huge comforter and fume in silence. If anyone tries to touch me or take the blanket off me, i'd stick my hands out (no, not just my middle finger) and make the "T" (for time out) sign. They'll get the idea and leave me alone till i feel better. Angry words are like knives. Once you've stabbed someone, you draw blood and you leave a scar. So what if you don't mean it and say apologise after that? Verbal abuse can leave scars as much as physical abuse does, sometimes even deeper ones.

Lesson 3 : It is okay to cry, as long as you know when to stop (My best friend Molly taught me this).

Crying is a good way to rid yourself of bad feelings. Bawl your eyes out, let you tears flow like water when you flush the toilet bowl. Sis just told me that studies have shown that people who cry easily, be it on happy or sad occasions, are creative people. Err...okay, point noted. Molly tells me it's okay to cry when you're upset, but cry for the right reasons. If your best friend betrayed you, don't cry because of what she did. Cry because you've trusted the wrong person, and wasted time and effort on a total piece of crap. If you've done something stupid and screwed up, don't cry because you're upset with Life/God/your parents/anyone you can point your finger at. Cry because you've fucked up and failed in life, but have the strength to stop crying and make things better for yourself. However long you need, just cry till you feel better inside. When you're done, stop and move on with life. Don't repress your feelings if you need a good cry. Don't shortchange yourself and keep all your feelings inside if you need to let it all out. It's okay to cry, as long as you know how to stop when it's time to.

Lesson 4: Never vent your anger on another person (or dog, or cat, or fish, or mosquito).

It's not fair to vent your anger on other people, even if there are kind souls out there that are willing to be punching bags because they care about you. It is SO not right. If you want to use other people as punching bags, choose people who are insignificant to you so it doesn't matter if you've hurt them. Okay i'm just joking. Like i said before, shut up when you're angry. Don't even be around people when you're angry, lest you do hurtful things in a moment of impulse - raising your hand at someone, throwing things, slamming doors and what not. Venting your anger publicly is a sign of weakness and immaturity. In most cases, things get even worse because the negative vibes that you exude pisses other people off. Either that, or you piss yourself even more because other people try to pacify you (often in the wrong way), and your state of anger perpetuates. If you have to thrash something, thrash your pillows (your books, your mobile phone, your walls, yourself) in private. I don't like to thrash things because i am a cheapskate and i don't want to replace the things i thrashed. I usually go for a drive down the freeway when i'm angry. Speeding relieves tension for me. I keep that aim in mind and remind myself i'm not out to kill myself (or incur a speeding camera fine). 1 or 2 hours of speeding, with blasting music usually does it for me and i return to where i left Life, satisfied and calm. Walking Chester works well for me too. Rather, anything to do with nature is good. Spending time with an animal, taking a long walk around greenery, enjoying a light drizzle and breathing in that fresh, earthy smell after a storm. "These are a few of my favourite things....."

Lesson 5: If all else fails, get your doctor to prescribe you some sleeping pills.

If there's no way you can manage your anger, at least run away from it and avoid hurting yourself and others by popping a pill and going to lala-land. Wake up the following morning and start reading from Lesson 1 again. HAHA!

Lesson 6 (only relevant to Chester lovers): Chester is a lovely dog with an immaculate face.

One look at a face like his....hey, what's anger? *beams*