Innocence

The Child In Me

Cherub Rock, originally uploaded by manniqueen.

I think there's an inner child in everyone and it's just a matter of how much you're willing to let it show.

When you're still a child, you do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. Albeit somewhat self centred, everything you do is natural, spontaneous, no facade. As you get older, it gets more complex. What kinda person will people see me as? What will i get in return if i say this, if i do this?

I find that quite tiring, to be honest.

I probably come across as a very wilful person to many people. I don't believe in alot of inhibitions that comes hand in hand with adulthood. I like being candid and i don't like being pretentious. I don't like politics and i don't like diplomacy. Being in the job i'm in, i probably should conduct myself with more propriety, but i like to laugh, like to joke, like to say the darndest things. I just like to be me.

I think i'm becoming more and more child-like as i grow older. I'm not even sure if this is a reflex reaction to approaching mid-life crisis itself. I like to throw my head back and laugh like a hyena, dance in the rain with a phantom lover and relish my grape yakult as if it were the potion of immortality. Most of all, i don't really give a damn if you think i'm crazy.

Back then, a trip to MacDonald's was so precious. Now, only a 100 dollar teppanyaki meal at Goodwood Park Hotel is deemed fit for consumption (Aha!). Back then, a 5 minute ride in one of those automated NTUC car was the most enjoyable experience in life. Now, only a Jaguar is good enough (Aha!). I'd never want to forget what makes me happy from deep inside and i remind myself of the things we take for granted that were once precious to me.

The look of awe on Tiffanie's face when she first touched Smarty (my mouse) was unbelievable. She spent an hour staring at them scuttle, totally mesmerised and fascinated. I want to live life like this, not to mean i aspire to be a dumb, wide-eyed bimbo. But, i really want to enjoy life like a child does, without a care and being easily contented. Adulthood really does makes us all insatiable people.

I wanna feel like the luckiest person on earth when Chester wakes me up with a slobbery kiss, when Dad leaves the nightlight on when i return home late, when Mum leaves a swiss roll in my room while i'm sleeping, when Tiffanie sings out of tune while i play the piano.....and when i look up at the starry nightsky, awestricken and enraptured. I really don't need a lot to feel happy deep inside. And that's the child in me acting up.

When was the last time you marvelled at something small? When was the last time you felt happy from deep inside because of something simple?