Tiffanie Turns Three!

I don't recall having such an elaborate party when i was a three-year-old.

Such a big, lovely cake (that blue dog whatever its name is), so many new toys, so many little friends to play with and everyone fussing around me.

I never got a brand new pink bicycle like the little girl (which happens to be my present for Tiffanie), which probably explains why i couldn't ride one till much later in life.

I think i only had a kueh lapis and probably just a box of Van Houten chocolate? The old school oval tinned kind.

But man, i'd give everything to go back to the good ol' days. The Havelock shophouse days. I miss Ah Meh alot, although it doesn't appear so. I saw a big, fat moth on the liftdoor that night. "Who might that be?", i asked aloud. That same night, i dreamt of her, but in a frightening way. She never came to me in my dreams this way before and i never ever reacted so violently in my dreams with her.

It's been a long while since i dreamt of her. The last one i had was just her, taking me on a bus ride around paradise and telling me she's doing well. I wish she'd come to me in a beautiful dream tonight and tell me everything's okay. Tell me it's alright that i spilt all the water from my bottle on the road, because she'd get me my favourite chrysanthemum tea to tide me through the day at kindergarten.

She would be so so so happy if she were to be present at the party tonight. And i bet there would also be a kueh lapis for Tiffanie as well, just as i received one every single year......

I thought i'd forgetten how painful it felt but the pain is coming back again. More vivid, more lucid then ever.