I Will Bite

I snapped at 3 different people today, one of whom is someone very dear to me. Although i apologised profusely after that, i still feel bad for having such a short fuse today.

It was just a bad day in general and i was caught in a shitty situation at work, where everyone was just "spectators" and didn't bother to lend a helping hand. Never mind that, stupid comments were made after that which made me more peeved. Furthermore, i was "summoned" here and there to do work that other people were supposed to be responsible for (but didn't bother or don't care enough to learn things well). This is probably the first time i really raised my voice at someone at work after being at peace with everyone for the past one year.

I hate losing control of my emotions. It's like giving in to your inner demon and letting it run amok and run your like the way he wants to. Being in control of my emotions makes me feel empowered; not being in control makes me feel weak and helpless.

I ended up having a lousy training session with Chester in the evening, probably due to the whole buildup of the uber lousy day i had. The stress of the upcoming trial is probably taking a toll on me too. Sometimes, i can't help but feel that given a better handler (or owner), the dog will probably achieve much more in life than he ever will with me. It's sad but so very true. But whatever it is, i'll give it my best shot only because Chester has been a great great great dog and i'm willing to push my limits to take him to wherever his Border Collie heart (and legs!) takes him to. Wish us luck!